You may have seen an image online that says:
“Your husband slaps you out of anger. As a good wife, what will you do?”
At first glance, it looks like a simple “discussion” question. But it carries a harmful message: it suggests that a woman’s “goodness” as a wife is measured by how quietly she tolerates violence. That idea is not just wrong—it is dangerous.
A Clear Truth: Slapping Is Abuse
A slap is not “discipline,” not “love,” and not “normal anger.”
It is physical abuse. And abuse always escalates when it is excused, minimized, or hidden.
No one deserves to be hit. Not once. Not ever.
The Problem with the Phrase “Good Wife”
The phrase “good wife” in this context pressures women to:
• stay silent,
• accept harm,
• protect the abuser’s reputation,
• and carry the blame.
But being “good” is not about enduring pain. A healthy marriage is built on:
respect, safety, communication, and accountability.
If Someone Hits You, Your Safety Comes First
If you or someone you know is experiencing violence, the priority is immediate safety. Depending on your situation, that can look like:
• Get to a safe place (a trusted friend, family member, neighbor, or a public area).
• Call emergency services if you are in danger right now.
• Reach out to someone you trust and tell them what happened.
• Document injuries (photos, medical reports) if it’s safe to do so.
• Contact local support services (women’s shelters, hotlines, legal aid, counseling).
You don’t need to “prove” you’re a good spouse by staying in harm’s way.
What a “Good Partner” Actually Does
A good partner:
• does not use violence,
• takes responsibility for their actions,
• seeks help for anger or control issues,
• and respects boundaries.
Anger is an emotion. Violence is a choice.
Let’s Change the Question
Instead of asking: “As a good wife, what will you do?”
We should ask:
“How do we protect victims, hold abusers accountable, and stop normalizing violence?”
Because the real measure of a healthy relationship is not endurance—it’s safety.